Clearly, there are many reasons why you would want to pick up the phone and call your ex. Or better yet, text them in a drunken stupor… But don’t!
Learning to control yourself can be a wonderful thing, especially once you master it and can throw it in the face of all your frenemies who still can’t get over a failed relationship.
You’ll be a better person, trust me!
Or, if you don’t trust me just yet, trust Deepak Chopra who famously said:
“Freeing yourself from the emotional baggage is crucial because dwelling on the past prevents you from participating in the present, which is the only place in which you can experience love, happiness, fulfillment, and miracles.”
And talking to your ex is the best example on dwelling on the past if there ever was one, so please allow me to make my case against staying in touch with your ex in 5 simple yet crucial points.
You’re Not Letting Go
Staying in touch with your ex, regardless of whether you broke up 10 days ago or 10 years ago means you’re not quite ready to let go. Nostalgia is OK sometimes, and getting sentimental is absolutely understandable, but finding a constructive way to channel your nostalgia can do wonders for you in the long term.
Clinging to your ex and what you once had will prevent you from opening up to new experiences and finding love again. Only once you’re free from the baggage of your past will you be able to find happiness again next to someone who deserves you.
Accept You’re Not Getting Back Together
Or even worse, if you do you can be absolutely sure that it will be a mistake. Relationships fail for a reason, and regardless of how much you were once great together, you fell apart. These things happen and the stress that follows is unavoidable, but learning to cope with it is what you should focus on.
Not on dwelling on your broken heart.
The sorrow that you feel weighs you down constantly, and if you want to get rid of it you have to accept that your great love is now in the past, and that there are great things in store for you in the future.
Stop Torturing Yourself
Talking to your ex does nothing but constantly remind you of what you once had but don’t have anymore, and that’s awful emotional torture especially if you see they are ready to move on quicker than you are.
And no, you should not be friends with your ex because friends talk to each other about personal matters, such as relationships and future plans. They even attend each other’s weddings!
Do you want to watch your ex marry someone else? Didn’t think so. Life is cruel as it is and you don’t need to inflict additional pain.
Don’t Kid Yourself You Can Talk About Other Things
You can’t! You can try to talk to your ex about things other than your failed relationship and the subsequent breakup, but no matter what you do you’ll always come back to those painful subjects one way or another.
There are plenty of other people in this world with whom you can have constructive conversations that can make you feel good about yourself, good about all the things you’ve accomplished since you broke up with that person.
Not only should you not talk to your ex, but you should try and cut all the ties with the sources of information on him or her. Even hearing what they’re up to can cause your heart to skip a beat, and you don’t need that in your life if you want to be truly happy.
- Crying Will Give You A Headache
Instead of spending your time getting over a headache caused by the hours of crying, you could go to the gym, meet up with friends for drinks, watch a movie or catch up on your sleep.
Even doing laundry is more fun than getting over an upsetting conversation with your ex.
Not to mention the fact that your eyes will be all puffy and dry from crying. There is no way you’ll be able to hide it, everyone will know what happened. You can try and lie how you have a cold or your eyes are puffy because of those mean onions you chopped up for lunch, but it will all be in vain.
So no matter how sad you might feel, do not call your ex. You might think it’s a good idea at the moment, but it will only make you feel much worse in the long run…